Dear Ole' Dad

I don't have anything at all to do with my dad. I see him on my daughter's birthday, my nephews birthday, I used to get the occasional text on mine, but this year ended us. I got married in May, and he was not invited. He hates my husband, feels I can do better, me and him don't get along, why should he come? Walk me down the aisle to a man he doesn't know and judges poorly? Stand beside me on the best day of my life? Of course not. When he found this out he was pissed. I would've been too I guess. But my reason for posting.. He doesn't see us much, even before my wedding, when we were little and he was in our life, he wasn't affectionate, claimed he was raised that way and knew no better, he didn't teach us the daddy daughter stuff, aside from driving, his shining moment with me. He wasn't a good dad at all. Now he has a new family, two girls, some little ones running around I have no clue who they belong to, but he holds them... He's in tons of family photos, he's smiling, he's...... happy... Why couldn't we have that dad? Why couldn't he be that guy for us? Who cares if him and my mom weren't happy together, was that our fault? Hell no, so why were we punished for it? I hate admitting that his new found happiness makes me mad, and hurts me so much, I don't care about him at all, I shouldn't hurt like this..... But I do.. I don't understand why we were so awful that he couldn't be happy except with someone else. Those two girls got the dad we wanted.... But never got. Is that fair? I wish I had no dad at all.. I wish I didn't know who he was, it would make it easier. I wish he wasn't so happy being their dad, I wish he missed us.... Wishes don't come true tho. And he will go on being happy minus the daughter's he could care less about. His only saving grace is katlyn still gives him chances.. At least she's okay with how we are now..... Because I sure as hell ain't.