The Roller Coaster of Life

My last post title said a mouthful. I did give up. I gave up my diet, my exercise plan, having children or caring about having them, I had given up on life. I checked out and was just surviving. I had another surgery on having my tonsils removed, that was a rough 2 months. I took in another daughter, that was a lot on me. Andre lost his job! That's a whole nother post, but that set my world into a full tailspin. I put me and my needs back where I thought they belonged... On the back burner. I gave up on me because I thought I was a lost cause. After my last surgery nothing happened.. The surgery was a complete failure. I thought for sure that there was nothing my body could take in that would make it work right. I. Gave. Up. I even stopped blogging because who cares. Who wants to talk about failure? I sure as hell don't. Well then why am I back now? What's so great I decided to write about it? Nothing. I woke up one day and decided that baby or not, my health was still important. I was allowing these "delicious"foods to take over my life and kill me! I am worth more than that I think! I have been back on the health wagon for 120 or so days now, almost 4 months? Wow saying it like that kinda gives it a harder hit. 4 months.. Wow. I am not exercising as of now, but I plan to, when my life settles down some. I miss the gym. I am down over 20lbs! I'm loving the look I'm sporting now, but it's mainly the health thing. The look is just an added bonus. I had a cycle a couple weeks ago. You heard me right, a natural, brought in by itself cycle. It was a crazy cycle, but it was something. And my body did it by itself. Hope that maybe I'm not so hopeless after all. Also on top of dieting, I'm taking a mountain of vitamins. I'm not kidding and there will be a picture attached. This picture is a bit of a play on words. The background says "enjoy today" of course we should strive for that every day, enjoy the day the Lord has made for it is a gift to you. But those same words are surrounded by pills. Some are for my back, but the rest are solely for my hormones. Metformin, vitex, evening primrose oil, omega-3 (soon to be omega-9), folic acid.. Every night I take so many pills that they would roll off the shelf, so I had to buy a plate to hold them all. What better plate than one with such an amazing saying? Such irony. That to get to a day where I could truly be happy, maybe, I have to first endure all of this. But it'll be worth it. I go back for another surgery next week... Maybe with all the lifestyle changes I have made this surgery will have a fighting chance. I mean my body did what it was made to do on its own with no medical intervention.. So just maybe. But I'm not building myself up this time. I got knocked down hard the last time. I will keep my realist mentality this time. I guess that's all for now. I wanted to update my imaginary audience and just let you guys know I didn't die, just quit life. I've started back, and though bumpy, we'll make it down here I believe. Buckle up butter cup. 👍💯😘