My Beautiful Nightmare

Looking down at her, I see my fantasy. Standing right in front of me, yet... A million miles away. God placed her here for a reason, what that reason is is still up for debate, whether I'm supposed to save her, or she's supposed to save me. Maybe he put her here for the same reason I'm infertile, pure torture. But for now... She's here, and I have to deal with it. I love her so much, yet I won't allow myself to feel it. Everyday, from someone, I always manage to hear about this bond we share, her and I... But I can't feel it. I AM her mother, even if just for the time being. I feed her, clothe her, house her, protect her, kiss her boo boos, I play that role day in and day out.. But I still feel like I'm her babysitter. I hope for this nightmarish dream to turn into a beautiful reality. I hope to wake up and not feel like I'm stuck in limbo. I hope, one day, to feel that connection that everyone sees. But for now... I will stare into my fantasy's eyes, standing right in front of me. I will continue to play this role that I'm in. She needs me.. Even if its just for now, I will love her like she's mine forever. Because that's what she needs from me... Love.